What Changes in Marriages?
I am not here to judge or chose sides , I’m just curious as too what changes in some Marriages. I know the engagement phase is awesome , no kiddy responsibilities , we can travel whenever and to where-ever we like , we can party all night and know there is no baby/child to wake up to for feeds or early morning sport or school the next day. Then comes the Fairy-Tale Wedding and life is BLISS!! BUT the most precious gift ever – The best of both of you arrives -your Baby/Babies! And things then do change! For us Women its our BODIES! In the first few months , its nothing to worry about , you have your every minute attached to this amazing gift , then as Our children Grow we seem to notice ourselves in the mirror more often! That roll around the tummy area the most , OUR BOOBS (if you breastfed), from these voluptuous Porn star titties to sagging beanbags, (and we cant all afford NEW ones), bags under our eyes , unwashed Hair , chipping nail varnish , laugh lines..eish alot of those and tiredness! The “FUN” You,The Dancing Queen , The socialite , Where is she?
Do you think that sometimes our Husbands look at us and wonder where that Woman went he married ? The woman that doted on him , was HIS 100% , the quickies in the morning , lunchtime or evenings! The sexy lingerie’? Yip she changed , into “that” MOM! The woman who still cooks , cleans , and most of all makes sure their Children are looked after – that has become her main priority! She will do anything for their children!
Even though he knows this is the right thing , is their jealousy? Does he miss the funky chick he chose to Date? Does he look at the younger ‘US”? Does he miss the get up and go life-style, drinks after work and late Supper Clubs with Mates? Is this what society calls a “midlife” crisis? Sometimes you just get the oke that cheats , and again I am not generalizing , some wives are just as shocking ,and they all pray they will just get away with it , until they caught and then they are the sorriest person on the Planet! You only sorry cause you got caught China! Do we get traded in for the Younger Us? Only to realize few years down the line that he too will start to age and droop , that the new model will become a mom one day aswell. Did he throw it all away because he thought it would be greener on the other side? Many times the damage and hurt I see is heart breaking for the Wife & Children!It knocks the confidence out of them. It destroys people and Homes- LOVE can be Brutal!
The other Day a mom wrote on Facebook that she had gotten up earlier to put some make up on before work and that she felt HOT like the old days! We all know that feeling .. but we don’t all have the time. Do you think that it is not that they fall out of love with the person they married , but the image of the person? I love my Husband so much , and I know that he often feels that I am not giving him the attention I used too! SEX – that’s the biggest factor for okes , but lets be real ladies… the thought of sex after a long day is scary! You hoping for the long bubble bath with the YOU mag and then bedtime! Its Summer and 180 Degrees and you slip into a Onsie hoping he gets the message , or bluff you FAST asleep waiting for his snoring sound!! Don’t get me wrong , when I am doing it , I am like …sjoe I should do this more often! Its just the daily routine of the lives of Moms is tiring! And also if your room is not on another continent , the thought of your kids walking in on you, or hearing is even scarier! It really isn’t an excuse , its what runs through our minds! We also have to be realistic – Men are Visual , Men crave intimacy. .For most Husbands sex is a very important part of the marriage. Ask Dr Ruth! (Is she still alive?) We all want that Forever Fairytale Marriage We all want our Spouses to look at us like they did when we walked down the Aisle towards them!
We need to realize that Our lives change, I know in my heart that Brent doesn’t get the 100% anymore , I also know that he needs to feel like he does sometimes. I too need to make a change and try be the Wife I wanna be too him and the Mom that I know I will always be and never change that! Marriage my Friends is NOT EASY in anyway – Besides the Financial Side and Responsibilities that are thrown at us …. its a hard one! I myself think that you have to LOVE your Partner , You both have to try and understand the changes that have been thrown your way! HONESTY in every aspect , Don’t hide how bad things are from your Spouses, we cant read minds and too shut us out , makes us all question the reasons! Temptation is Everywhere, The question is .. Is it worth losing Your Family For? Has she changed so much , and cant you just look at her and see the love she has for you and most of all Your Children! You know the sexiest thing for me ! Watching Brent with Our boys and the love he has for them … maybe he should play in the garden and around the house more often and he would get more Action!! (lets hope he is not reading this!)
When you stand and made that commitment , their were Reasons & Promises! Remember those when in doubt , watch your wedding video and ask yourself! Its is worth it to walk away from so much!